Monday, November 5, 2012

Finding the balance between immersion and self-expression

The more I talk with female (foreign) travelers about this subject, the more I come to realize there is a dichotomy in ways of approaching traveling in places like India as a woman. Most women that I have talked with seem to fall into one of two camps.  The degree of nuance in the arguments from either camp may vary, but the essence is clear.

One camp, which I will call the ‘Western-feminist’ camp argues things such as the following:
Regardless of of differences in cultural norms, women should be respected. Things such as wearing local clothing and obeying outdated gendered conventions concerning appropriate body language, appropriate conversations with Indian men,  appropriate social behaviors (smoking, drinking, etc.) simply to please Indians is counterproductive because it communicates that it is acceptable to continue to treat their women (and us) as objects and does not help women gain respect and independence. We should be free to do what we like, and express ourselves just as we would in our home country. They have to learn to respect us. Dressing locally does not truly ‘earn’ respect, therefore it may be better to simply dress respectfully but comfortably.

All of the above statements may not pertain to everyone in this camp, but you get the general idea. The other camp, which I will term the ‘Pro-local’ camp, argues things such as the following:

We are guests in there country, therefore it is best and most respectful to immerse ourselves by behaving exactly as local women would behave. We should dress like them,  and only engage in behaviors that are considered by socially acceptable for our gender. We should avoid doing anything that local women wouldn’t do, such as conversing with Indian men (strangers), going out after dark, walking alone, smoking or drinking. By doing this we earn the respect of Indians and eventually others from our home countries will be respected like us.  Women who dress and behave ‘western’ perpetuate the problem of lack of respect for foreigners.

Likewise, everyone in the ‘Pro-local’ approach may not agree with every statement here. However I think it is fair to say that most female travelers I have encountered tend to lean heavily towards one side or the other. Sometimes the side of the continuum to which they hold may change after travel, or they may eventually gravitate towards the center on one side or another, but to me it is striking how passionate female travelers I have spoken with talk about these issues.  I have seen and heard both approaches advocated by women of various educational backgrounds and various degrees of experience as travelers. I will say that I have noticed female scholars tend to lean more heavily towards the ‘Pro-local’ side of the spectrum, whereas other travelers (such as tourists) who may be more interested in personal comfort and less interested in interacting with locals throughout their travels often lean towards the opposite spectrum, though that is certainly not always the case.

Both views I think are problematic.  From a social-scientific and historical perspective, it is clear that the ‘Western-feminist’ approach has it’s problems. Countries such as India with a history of colonialist rule are not likely to respond well to critiques from western women, especially white women.  Even in the areas of India less affected by colonialism, suggestions made by westerners, no matter how well-intended, will be distrusted by enough people that they will not make a significant difference. Change in post-colonial developing nations such as India, has to come from within, as it did in the case of Gandhi’s movement. There is currently a lot of support for ‘modernization’ of India, meaning developing of India’s infrastructure and educational systems, and progress in certain social issues such as women’s rights in a direction that is modeled after those in Western developed countries. There is also a strong resistance to this development by many politicians, scholars, and individuals who argue that to change the system is to lose what is essentially “Indian” and replace it with “Western” values.  These opponents argue that Modernization/Globalization is leading to a deterioration of family values and social norms which is needed in India to maintain a moral  society. This is exemplified in the post I made 2 weeks ago about Chief Minister of West Bengal Mamata Banerjee’s responses to the increase of rapes in West Bengal. She stopped just short of blaming “modern permissive society” (i.e. western-influenced changing gender norms and norms governing dating) for the incidents of rape. In this case,  we, as foreigners wearing western clothing and behaving “inappropriately” simply serves to illustrate the “problem.” If foreign ways are considered counter to Indian culture, then foreigners exemplifying this does not necessarily help Indian women advocating this cause. In other words, dressing and behaving ‘western’ may in fact be harmful to the cause already underway by Indian women.  When a foreigner dresses “inappropriately” (not covering one’s legs, shoulders, and chest), it does not convey solidarity, it conveys disrespect.  In short, the situation in India is complex. Indians (including Indian women) are fighting on both sides of this issue. Given its colonial past, many Indians are (understandably) resistant  to ‘Western’ (i.e. ‘white’) ways of thinking and governing.  But is the ‘Pro-local’ approach better?

I think there are ways in which the ‘Pro-local’ approach may also be problematic from a women’s rights perspective. It is evident that many women in India want to see India become a place more hospitable to women. Where women can go out past dusk (currently 6pm) without fear of assault. Where women (Indian and foreign alike) can walk the streets alone without fear of harassment. Where they can wear what they please and work whatever job they prefer. In Delhi in particular there has been a huge movement towards this. July 31, 2001 “Slutwalk” reached Delhi. While less risque in dress than it’s US counterparts, it clearly sent a message. The Chief instructor for the Noida branch of Seido Karate informs me that every time there is a rise in reports of assaults in Delhi, all the Delhi martial arts instructors are sought after by individuals and businesses alike for self-defense seminars for their female workers. In more urban cities such as Delhi and Jaipur, I have seen many middle class and upper-middle class Indian women (like Indian men) wear Western clothing or  alternatively hybrids outfits consisting of a Kurta or Kamize shirt over jeans.  In places where Indian women wear Western clothing or hybrid clothing, what is conveyed by a foreigner wearing a salwar kamize? In places where Indian women are struggling for their independence by defying their own norms by walking alone and behaving in non-traditional ways, what does it convey when a foreigner acts more  “Indian” than the Indian women themselves. Are we not then undermining the defiant actions of the same women we claim to be imitating?

This is certainly a complex topic and I am not advocating one approach or another. How to behave and dress while traveling must be a personal decision. Every woman, foreigner or Indian, has the right to feel safe and secure and live free from harassment. From that perspective the ‘Pro-local’ approach is certainly more pragmatic. From personal experience, I can attest that dressing locally and behaving as is expected of Indian women in a given region does cut down on harassment. But is it always the right thing to do?  As female travelers, I think it is essential to make informed decisions about how we want to dress and behave throughout our travels. That decision will certainly be influenced by what regions we will visit, how we travel within a city (alone or in groups, by foot or by rickshaw/auto) and what our purpose is there (tourism, research, study, work, etc.). I  would add that our decision-making process should be informed by another consideration, and that is:

We should decide for ourselves what is our priority when  we are “traveling while female.” Is it to be an ally for Indian women? Is it to live as safely and harassment-free as possible? Is it to make contacts and forge networks with Indians? In other words, I suggest that our dress and behaviors should be consistent with our individual goal(s) as a traveler in India.

If we are researchers, women seeking the respect of members of various communities in order to do our work, then the more immersion-focused 'Pro-local' approach is understandably more favorable. If we are traveling for a particular project, especially one that requires consent and respect of established members of a community, then adhering to gendered behavioral norms is more likely to allow us access to what we need as researchers. Likewise if as researchers and workers, we are in India for a long time, then comfort (such as living as harassment-free as possible) is naturally preferable.  But there are still problems with this approach. While many female scholars and female workers in India have earned the respect due their gender, it is often only the case *after* they have married. I myself have recently experienced how being an (apparently) unmarried female scholar may result in you being less respected. While this is starting to change, in traditional Indian culture, if you are not yet married, then you belong to your father, and therefore you are not yet an adult. An unmarried scholar is then in some ways a contradiction of terms. A child cannot be a scholar. Therefore your credibility may be challenged.  I’m beginning to think that perceived singleness is a larger factor in street harassment than I previously understood. Walking about alone will often mark you as ‘single’ whether or not that is the case. There are certain things that can mark you as ‘married’ (such as mangala sutra necklaces, the red hair dye in the part of your hair and matching toe-rings on the middle toe) and I have been told that people who do those things (in particular the mangala sutra necklace) experience less harassment once those signs of marriage are visible. Though I am currently unmarried, it has been suggested that I too adopt one or more of those marriage indicators to cut down on harassment.

But for me the issue is where does the performance end? How ‘local’ is ‘local enough’?  Where does one draw the line with dress and behavior? Do I stay at home unless escorted by a male friend or colleague? Do I travel only by rickshaw or auto?  I have personally taken the stand that as an unmarried woman, I will not wear something indicating me to be married. I choose to dress locally in whatever way is appropriate to the place I am staying in, but I draw the line at faking a marriage to gain acceptance and ‘respect.’ But that is my personal stance.  Others may (understandably!) prefer to appear as ‘respectable’ as possible to make their stay less uncomfortable and I wholeheartedly support them. But for me, although I will continue to encourage foreign women to dress as local as they feel comfortable doing for their own protection (and for some may even recommend faking signs of marriage), I know there are problems with this practice. In Varanasi and Jaipur, I wear Salwar-kamize. In more tourist-inhabited places like Delhi (and while traveling on AC class trains and tourist buses) I may wear (loose-fitting) western pants under a Kamize/kurta and may wear the dupatta draped over my shoulders but not my head. And in places like Dharamsala, heavily populated by foreigners and exiled Tibetans, I may forego the dupatta altogether.  I make this clothing adjustment willingly, intentionally, and knowingly. I am also aware that these choices may result in potentially increased incidents of street harassment in the areas where I choose to ‘compromise’ on clothing.   But that is my informed decision. Likewise, I choose to walk —only during the day—but nonetheless I walk alone (un-escorted) to my destinations rather than take rickshaws, tempos or autos. I personally can’t justify paying money for a journey that I can easily do on foot. And I appreciate the exercise of walking.  I sacrifice some personal comfort for it, but again this is my informed decision. I make these choices consciously, choosing *not* to completely immerse myself the entirety of a trip.  But since I have only so far traveled in northern areas of India and only in mostly urban cities (large and small) and urban towns, I have this luxury. Perhaps if I were living in a village I would feel differently. 

Obviously this is a controversial issue as many of my friends, colleagues and classmates in the past have quite vocally advocated one particular mode of dress/behavior over another. So I open this up for discussion: What are your thoughts? Where do you personally draw the line between immersion and self-expression through dress and behavior while traveling in places like India? 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Being an ally for victims of sexual harassment

It’s recently been brought to my attention how often forms of sexual harassment and assault are suffered in silence.  Statistics on rape reported in this recent article indicate that at least 54% of rapes go unreported.  Since starting this blog, several female travelers (that I know) have contacted me to share their experiences. Each admitted to suffering (mostly) in silence.  Like for the Hungarian woman (see this entry) who was dangerously close to being sexually assaulted, more extreme incidents of sexual harassment are sufficiently traumatic that often women often prefer to block the painful memories from their mind, rather than relive traumas by admitting them to others. Even women who suffer from less extreme forms of sexual harassment (such as leering or the local equivalent of catcalls)  may experience trauma over time if the experiences are continuous and/or recurrent. 

I started this blog because I know that not every female traveler is comfortable using their voice to share their experiences. It takes boldness and courage to admit something as personal as feeling vulnerable to sexual harassment. As an independent, educated, career-oriented woman, I myself take pride in my ability to “hold my own” so-to-speak against the male-dominated academic fields in which I operate. How then can I be admit to feeling vulnerable to the mere glance (leer) of a man in another country? After my first trip to India, in which I endured memorable and painful incidents of sexual harassment, I too suffered in silence. Despite being (figuratively) surrounded by female colleagues and professors with whom I could have discussed these things, I remained silent. It was truly embarrassing to me—too embarrassing—to admit that I was vulnerable in this way. I felt ashamed. It was years later that I found my voice and developed the confidence to volunteer for a local violence prevention program and eventually start this blog. Sometimes even now I wish I could be thicker-skinned than I am. Sometimes I wish I could proudly walk through the streets in India dressed however I like, impervious to the comments, leers, provocative gestures, attempts at groping, stalking and whatever else.  Perhaps to an extent we all wish we could be thick-skinned and just shrug it off. But perhaps then there would be no need for this sort of blog. This blog exists because no matter how thick-skinned we are, we are human beings. And how people treat us impacts us. When we perceive that we are being treated as less than human because of our gender, race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, or anything else that forms a part of our identity and over which we have no influence or control, it affects us. No matter how thick-skinned we are, being treated as subhuman based on our gender will be painful. There is no shame in this. It is not shameful to admit that others have hurt us. We did nothing to earn or deserve this treatment. We are the victims. Admitting this vulnerability does not make us less strong—it makes us stronger. It takes courage and strength to admit vulnerability by sharing your experiences with others. Sharing is important for healing; it is also an important first step for helping prevent others from being victims. Street harassment has the potential to escalate to other more dangerous forms of violence. It does not always stop at words or gestures. As other women have reported, in India as elsewhere, it can and does escalate to stalking, groping, indecent exposure, and even assault.  Street harassment too is a form of violence and should be treated as such.  

I want to use this opportunity to ask anyone following this blog to please consider being an ally to those who are currently suffering from or who have suffered from sexual harassment, assault or any other form of violence. It is hard for victims to find a voice. When a victim actually finds their voice, it is essential to support them and encourage them in any way one can.  If someone approaches you, or even just openly admits to having suffered a form of violence—no matter the degree—the best thing you can do for them is simply to listen. Hear what they have to say without judgment. This is not the time or place for suggestions as to what they could have done let alone what they “should” have done. The best thing you can do for a victim of any kind of violence is to be a good listener. Let them know that what they say matters and that you want to support them and help them however you can. The worst thing you can do for that person is to be unsupportive by “correcting” them, or in any way minimizing or invalidating their experience by inferring or implying it to be less than it is. When a victim finds their voice, it is a time to be encouraging. Your words need not be eloquent, or long-winded (like mine), but they should be supportive and encouraging.

It is only when a victim has gained sufficient distance (temporally and emotionally) from a painful situation that they can even be open to well-intended advice. The time gap necessary will depend on the intensity of the experience and the degree of emotional trauma endured. At that point, it might be appropriate as an ally to suggest they talk to others about their experiences in whatever way is most meaningful to them. They might prefer counseling or therapy, or they might find more closure in group meetings with others who have had similar experiences. Or you might recommend to them articles or online resources (such as Traveling While Female, or these handouts) to help them process their experiences.  If there are local violence prevention programs or self-defense courses, it might be appropriate to recommend those. But it is never appropriate to minimize or invalidate a victim’s experiences.

I ask this of all my readers—whether you consider yourself susceptible to the type of sexual harassment discussed in this blog or not—please consider becoming an ally for others. Listen, do not judge, and do not minimize their experience. Be encouraging, and be active in sharing resources like this blog with others.